The Architect Within You

Pain is part of our lives no matter how much we want to avoid them. They say, when you feel pain, then you are experiencing life to the fullest. It is a matter of how you would deal with it and how would you prevent it from happening again. It is part of our lives for us to be better personally. As an individual, we have our self-image that works with our behavior which is groomed based on the people who we grew up and interacted with and reactions to the pain we have dealt with. These experiences have created different patterns or what other say as a defense mechanism that is now part of our subconscious. However, aren’t you getting tired of feeling the same kind of pain over and over again?

The following are some known patterns and I bet you are one of these:

  1. Drama Pattern – This is the “it is not right to be okay” pattern. When things go smoothly, your subconscious tells you that this is not right then something drastic emerges.
  2. Accident Pattern – Some people simply have a way of getting into any form of accident whenever there is a chance.
  3. Sickness Pattern – There are people who have unintentionally scheduled sickness, like monthly flu or Monday headaches.
  4. Mess Patterns – Some people just can’t keep anything in order, they are inclined to being messy all the time
  5. Broke Patterns – No matter how much someone makes, there are those who are just always out of money.
  6. Job Change Patterns – These are those who just can’t stay in a single job for a long time.

So, were you able to identify which pattern you currently have? If you do, then you are at the next and hardest step in finding success: change.

Change is constant and it is the most difficult thing to do because of our resistance. For you to change, you have to identify your reoccurring behavior that leads you to pain. You have to start to change your approach and start to see things differently. Every reoccurring pain is a go signal for you to start changing yourself. You don’t want to wait for it to ruin you and affect all the people around you.

You have to stop pinpointing it to others the reason for your pain, after all, you can’t change them but you can change yourself and meet better people once you have embraced the change. You have to believe in yourself that you can do it. You have to do it because you want it and not just because you need it. Slowly, you feel better when symptoms of pain arise, because you know how you will deal with them in a positive way. A healthy mind is a key to change if you fill it with more good thoughts as it produces productive ideas and emotions.

Stay positive as much as you can if you want to succeed in life and stop wasting your time. Once your self-image is improved then you will be able to mix with anyone in the world and accomplish your goals in life. Maybe the people you are blaming before would see your change and realize things on their end as well. Isn’t that a great accomplishment and success as well if you get them to change?

Remember that you are what you think you are and you will become what you believe will be coming.

Resource: Being Happy by Andrew Matthews

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Rediscovering One’s Self: A Road To Redemption

There will be a time in your life that you felt lost and seems to ask who you are and what you became to be. A time in your life that you are living in a dark place where no lights can be seen at all. It is like your soul was suddenly unattached to your body going to the astral dimension thus making you feel numb and almost dead. Quitting should never be an option yet we know it is the simplest solution.

Loosing one’s self could be the worst thing that may happen to your life. You lose your identity resulting to a domino effect that will affect everything around you. Sometimes it may happen in one blow and sometimes slowly that you can’t even notice it until you felt like your feet got stuck somewhere and it is hard to lift nor move. You may come out everyday with a mask pretending to be alright. You laugh outside but cries inside. You became jealous of others life, you became emotional and dependent to others, worst, you tend to be the person you are not.

It is hard to recover from this kind of life event but if there is someone who could fix it. That will be yourself. You know yourself much than other does. Turnaround may not be quick but taking it slowly will get it done regardless how long may it take. Let me share what I think might help based from myself and those that I have read.

  1. Allow yourself to grieve. You may have taken heartaches easy by just moving on easily but you can’t just shove those feelings and avoid them, eventually they will came back and your progression of being better will be hindered. Deal with them. Take everything that you can learn from it.
  2. Start spending time with your self. Do NOT multi-task. Do things one at a time. Enjoy every moment that you spend doing a task. This will also help you calm down your thinking process and help you to be more focus in achieving your goal. Meditate if possible.
  3. Set your goal. Set a time line if possible, remember that clock is ticking. You have all the time in the world to do so but you also have to consider the people around you. Have a long term goal but important to do short term goals that you can attain in a daily basis. Take note that you won’t achieve the long term goal without doing the short ones.
  4. Acceptance. This might be the hardest one but accepting the situation you have right now is the best way to move forward. Keep the past from the past and start valuing the present.
  5. Ask yourself question to help you identify what you knew about yourself. Questions that will certainly lead to answers that will lessen the burden that you are feeling.
  6. Identify the people, place, event or factors that made you lose yourself. This is when you use your Math Skills (Addition and subtraction). Think those that impacted you most down to the lest one. Control yourself. You might feel angry while you do it but do it not blame them but to understand how, what and why you lose a part of yourself because of these factors.
  7. Think of your happy times now and when you felt you like yourself. This way you can have a guide in rediscovering yourself. You may not be the same person, after all, that is not your goal. Your goal is to be a better person.
  8. Putting a smile in your face may lessen the emotional discomfort as well even though you might think you look crazy.
  9. Think of problems as a catalyst to take actions. Opportunities that will make you the better person you wanted to be.
  10. Be cautious, if you think you are going to fast and begin to lose your way. Pause, breathe, and begin to where you think you got diverted. Follow the path you created, there will always be distractions but remember that it is opportunities.
  11. Finally, remember to stay positive. Be optimistic and have faith in Him.

This are the things that I think may help. There are lot more that can. These are just the basics that I know and would like to share. After all, I got lost several times and was able to rediscover myself every time. You should just need to know how to deal with it.

Some sources:

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